So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
