don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
