You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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