He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
