Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
the liver wants what the liver wants
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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