No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
