I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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