You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He better not be in your backpack
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He did a backflip because drugs
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
