Your tits are I can't wait for
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
