It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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