Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
