Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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