spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
