Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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