just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
