Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
