I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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