So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
