i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
