Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
