yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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