I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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