Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
