You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
