This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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