if i can run in heels then i can drive
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
