Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
