i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
