Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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