i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
