What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
