Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
NoShamevember. You game?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
