yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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