I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
