he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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