his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
