I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
