i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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