OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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