Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
