It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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