He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just want nice things and good sex
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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