the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
