we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
