things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize