I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
