Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
