yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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