I wish I only lived at night.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
