i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
